He Has Risen

[1ASU78]

here is some funny stuff

An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls in her wheelchair making sounds like she's driving a car. As she's going down the hall, an old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but you were speeding. Can I see your driver's license?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a candy wrapper, and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her a warning and sends her on her way. Up and down the halls she goes again. Again, the same old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but I saw you cross over the center line back there. Can I see your registration please?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a store receipt and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her another warning and sends her on her way. She zooms off again up and down the halls weaving all over. As she comes to the old man's room again, he jumps out. He's stark naked and has an erection! The old lady in the wheel chair looks up and says, "Oh, no, not the Breathalyzer again!"

What do you get when you cross a Gee-hova witness with an atheist?
Someone who knocks on doors for no apparent reason.

Q: What do you call a 5-Man gay mariachi band?
A: Juan Direction

I bet the first gay Transformer will morph into a Prius

Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men.

Q: What do you call a lesbian who lives up north?
A: A Klondyke.

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that naturalism and evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind.

As he turned to look, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He tried to run even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically as he tried to run even faster, but he tripped and fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up and saw the bear right on top of him raising his paw to kill him. At that instant he cried out "Oh my God!" Just then, time stopped. The bear froze, the forest was silent, the river even stopped moving. A bright light shone upon the man, and a voice came out of the sky saying, "You deny my existence all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit my creation to a cosmic accident and now do you except me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist, ever so proud, looked into the light and said "it would be rather hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but could you make the bear a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice. The light went out, the river ran, the sounds of the forest continued and the bear put his paw down. The bear then brought both paws together, bowed his head and said, "Lord I thank you for this food that I am about to receive."

[JCline0429]

Ya know, someone posts a Christian theme on the Non ASU General Thread and some people can't even respect the greatest day of their belief. They just can't wait to make fun of them.
This world is going down and fast. Most of us know each other by their handles and almost seem related in an ASU way. We still can't respect the views of their so called ASU brothers.

Christians are about the only "group" that people make fun of. Unreal.

I know, I know, you were "just kidding"...

Why post something of that nature on a board such as this. There are plenty of religious sites on the Internets to post messages of a religious nature. Post away on those boards and I can read about it there if I choose. Otherwise, expect someone of a different viewpoint on the matter to counter the statement.

I am thankful we live in a country where the original message can be posted AND someone can counter with a bit of humor. I think an all-knowing God can and might very well have a sense of humor, if you will allow me a bit of an anthropomorphic deity, which the Abrahamic religions pretty much are.

A little analogy here: There are gazillions of food/cooking/dining boards out there, yet we continually get a barrage of Bar-B-Que posts on here.

And to continue your little analogy, we don't all agree on cups and BBQ either. No one is getting all upset when someone slams the ketchup of Lexington vs the Eastern style. But when someone brings up BBQ the realization is that some will joke about it, some will not, but that is the nature of a message board that is at its core about college level sports for a particular university. I did not suggest the topic of the meaning of Easter not be brought up, just that there are other venues that might have a more reverent audience if that is desired, and if it is brought up here to expect some differing opinions, up to including mocking.

I was simply making an ANALOGY.

[ASUTodd]

Ya know, someone posts a Christian theme on the Non ASU General Thread and some people can't even respect the greatest day of their belief. They just can't wait to make fun of them.
This world is going down and fast. Most of us know each other by their handles and almost seem related in an ASU way. We still can't respect the views of their so called ASU brothers.

Christians are about the only "group" that people make fun of. Unreal.

I know, I know, you were "just kidding"...

Why post something of that nature on a board such as this. There are plenty of religious sites on the Internets to post messages of a religious nature. Post away on those boards and I can read about it there if I choose. Otherwise, expect someone of a different viewpoint on the matter to counter the statement.

I am thankful we live in a country where the original message can be posted AND someone can counter with a bit of humor. I think an all-knowing God can and might very well have a sense of humor, if you will allow me a bit of an anthropomorphic deity, which the Abrahamic religions pretty much are.

A little analogy here: There are gazillions of food/cooking/dining boards out there, yet we continually get a barrage of Bar-B-Que posts on here.

And to continue your little analogy, we don't all agree on cups and BBQ either. No one is getting all upset when someone slams the ketchup of Lexington vs the Eastern style. But when someone brings up BBQ the realization is that some will joke about it, some will not, but that is the nature of a message board that is at its core about college level sports for a particular university. I did not suggest the topic of the meaning of Easter not be brought up, just that there are other venues that might have a more reverent audience if that is desired, and if it is brought up here to expect some differing opinions, up to including mocking.

I was simply making an ANALOGY.

I'm glad you typed ANALOGY in all caps.... It really drove the point home for me.

[StumpyCulbreath]

It would be a good analogy except that barbecue is real.